Canto26 - Rules for bands that don't suck

 

All you poser fake music enjoyers: We are here to judge, terrorize, and yuck your little yums. Let the gatekeeping commence.

Corben Malace

Aug 28, 2025

The world of music is poised for revolution. We just need to get off our phones and into bands to make it happen.

It’s incredible just how stale, stuffy and bourgeois music has become. We teeter at a precipice much like the one before punk broke out in the 70s. The music scene is completely corporate and sterile. It’s an offense to the working class and hilariously it is completely defenseless and ready for a righteous rock to come shatter its whole dumb thing.

We will need punk that’s better than punk this time; more focused and extensible.

We will return to an ethic that ensures that the music is pure, uncorrupted, and open to all who want to play.

We will arbitrarily declare what is real and good, because we have been forced to by douchebags occupying our stages and airwaves. Call us snobs if you want, but left in your hands, music will be dead soon; completely replaced by AI.

I present a set of rules we must follow to give rise to the music revolution. You can apply these rules to any genre. And we will know each other as Dreggies who play the Dreggish style of music.

In the tradition of Lars Von Trier, I give you Podmay26: A Manifesto to save the soul of music and take back our gathering spaces.

Here are the rules:

1. No use of the 1-5-6-4 progression or close variants, and no songs with the same progression the whole time.

2. No fake drums in the recording, no drum replacement.

3. No live backing tracks. You can have a DJ but the main music cannot be produced by him playing a prerecorded song

4. You must use amps on stage rather than pure rack or software to create guitar tones.

5. No wearing all black because you don’t know what else to wear. Black metal and Goth bands can wear all black. If you aren’t that, you have to get creative or just wear what you wear normally.

6. No cover bands unless you are doing music that’s normally not covered.

7. No autotune

8. No AI

Let’s come together now in glory to play music and blow away the greedy bastards subjecting our ears and eyes to sonic drivel. Email us.

Spotify Jam Starter Pack

 

Redditor Flow Chart

 

R>IP

Star Wars and now Alien Earth have pushed me over the edge. I can't take it anymore. 

What if we just said no to Disney, MGM, StudioCanal, Amazon, Netflix, 20th Century and whoever else wants to own and make content based on basically our sacred fucking lore?

At this point they have proven beyond the shadow of a doubt that they are unable to make movies or shows etc that do our pantheon justice, and they have no intention of putting in enough effort to ever achieve this. They are happy to put out slop that makes money off the fumes of past glory and a fast dumbing public who has no standard beyond "yay current product."

What about us? What about the guys who have a folder of 50 or so perfect man-movies. We know they exist, we can't forget them. These movies, and the comics and books surrounding them that did the lore justice - these things set the crystal clear standard by which we judge all content. For those fellow yumyuckers who get it, no amount of new movies lowers that bar. Believe me, we've tried. While our friends caved and decided to just passively enjoy the slop, we just can't. We try to stomach it, but we can't forget the glory of the good stuff. We overclock our brains trying to figure out why it can't be done anymore. 

We need a mass boycott. But that won't hurt them. Lets accept that they will probably own and generate slop from our heroes ..forever. We should consider our pantheon dead as far as their life with the major studios. They are animated corpses. Maybe someday we can free their souls so they can rest, but until then, we must not lose anymore of our souls hoping one of these will be a sufficient offering to the man-gods. They are abominations and disgraces.

So beyond a boycott, here's something we can do to really stick it to these bastards and take back our sacred lore at the same time. The working title is R>IP. The R is for "Our" and the IP is for "intellectual property." RIP also symbolizes death to the traitorous lore that is currently put out by the majors. They may be the legal owners, but we have free speech and fair use. We can take these stories and do our own thing with them, and as long as we aren't making money from it, we are good to go. They can't stop us, but I'm sure they will try. 

Now of course, there is the whole fanfic community. They are bristling with content, and this is where we should start putting support. For example, any artists joining the R>IP movement should consider being part of an illustration team so we can start transforming these pure text works into comics or adding illustrations to enhance the written work.

What would separate this project from whats already going on in fanfic? While fanfic does contain works that i'd be interested in canonizing, they are just one piece of the puzzle. 

What we want to do:

1. Identify core man-fiction across all media

2. Identify a Pantheon of core characters ..like Robocop, lmao I'm serious

3. Identify what is canon from the existing works and exclude all non-canon works

4. Continue creating new canon works and improve existing ones

5. Celebrate and promote these heroes and their lore works

There is lots to be done and this is just me fleshing out a thought. Lots more fleshing is needed.

MEME - Silent Treatment

 

MEME - People who run hot